Recurrent feelings

The feelings are back... Losing a point, losing a focus, and losing a lot more... Keep asking myself, "why can't my mind be simpler, be freer?" Without a focus, not able to move forward. Should I let go before getting one? Or should I get one before letting go? It becomes confusing to me. The more I think, the more I get confused and disturbed. Not the first time and yet, unable to jump out of the box, a square box. Wish the box becomes rounder, becomes softer, and becomes thinner...